Siya ulit…..

Many people had listened to her story about how her relationship ends. They all said she was crazy lol and she needs to move on.

Nahihirapan siya magmove-on, aminado siya na yung relasyon na yun ang isa sa pinakamahirap kalimutan. Siguro kasi yun yung pinaka totoo sa lahat at pinakamatagal, nasurpass ang pacific ocean haha.

Instinct niya lang na mahal pa siya nung guy ang nagpapakapit at nagpipigil sa kanya makalimot, kahit ilang beses na sinabi nung guy na hindi na siya mahal, kahit .00001% na love wala na talaga.

Marami na siya narinig na payo. Bata ka pa at marami pang mangyayari sayo, kaya mag move on ka na. Wag ka ng maghintay kung wala ka naman hihintayin, hindi sapat ang instinct lang. Halos lahat na yata narinig niya, nakikinig naman siya sa lahat pero ayaw lang talaga niya makinig. kaloka siya diba? 

 —————————————————————-

Isang gabi nagkausap sila nung guy, narinig niya yung boses niya pati na yung jokes niya. Gaya ng dati, matutulog na siya at nandun yung guy sa kabilang linya nakikinig lang. Isa sa pinakamasayang gabi since naheartbroken siya. Wala siya nasabi, namiss niya yung dati,  yung i love you’s pati na yung word na “dada” kaya ayun lang nasabi niya kahit wala siya karapatan. Sana di na lang natapos yung gabing yun dahil kinabukasan parang walang ngyari :[ parang roller coaster ride, pag natapos na hindi ka na ulit masaya kaya gusto mo ulitin kaso hindi na mangyayari ulit. 

Meron na lang $3 na natitira sa account niya pangtawag, swertihan na lang kung sumagot yung guy, atleast narinig niya yung boses kahit awkward. First thing she says if he answered, BUSY KA? dahil ayaw niya na nakakaabala siya. Then the guy will sure say yes to end the conversation. She’ll say OK BB NA then end cal. 

Nasabihan na rin siya nung guy na desperada siya in a funny way. Alam niya totoo yun kaya agree na lang siya. What can she possibly say? totoo naman yun :] she can’t argue any further.

It is finally summer! dumaan ang winter na malungkot siya, will her summer be as lonely as ever? Sana  hindi na, sana matapos na, gusto niya na rin matapos, pero di niya alam paano sismulan, paano kakalimutan, paano gagawin :[

Kahit anong busy niya, there will always be a time na all she can think about is how sad life without someone you love.

EEEEEND!

After 2 years…..

After this summer semester makukuha ko na yung A.A degree ko

gagraduate narin at degree holder na rin

pero simula pa lang din  yun

dahil paglipat ko sa isang University

mas maraming problema kakaharapin ko )

I still have to finish my nursing degree

then im going to the air force

then i still have to take a multimedia design degree

So many plans, pero isa isa lang dahil mahirap ang kalaban

wag sana majinx! plsssss

Sya yun….

Kala niya ayus na e, good terms na ulit, magkakausap mo na, pero in the end barado sya parin. 

Wala sya magawa kundi i-stop yung conversation, mag bye ka then iiyak hehe

Hindi ko sya maintindihan pero naniniwala sya na  “there’s a hope” kahit alam niyang wala na.  She was just trying to talk to him, pero wala isa syang mantsa na kahit anong lagay niya ng bleach e, matibay parin ang kapit.

Kelan kaya yung time na kakausapin siya nung guy as normal as before, dating niya kasi parang TRICIA ng pbbteens e, nakakairita!

Di niya rin maintindihan sarili nya, bakit yun parin, ang bobo nya kasi, di ka makamove on?

pakamatay na lang sya )

It is not easy as it may be

I Don’t Love You Anymore by Soapdish

so this song said it all. I dont love you anymore. But it is not easy as it may look like, its not a song that after its over, your feelings is over aswell. Definitely not, so you gals and boys telling others that you’re ok after a hurtful breakup, you’ll need to be down on your knees and pray (just kidding), because you are all awesome liers ) hahaha

Lagi na lang walang GANA…..

need magaral pero walang gana

dapat gumawa ng project pero walang gana

dapat gumawa ng essay pero walang gana

mas gugustuhin ko pang tumunga-nga kesa may gawin

Parang nagiisa na lang ako

walang makausap

Walang hinihintay

Walang hihintayin

Walang aasahan

Walang inaasahan

Buhay ko ngayon na walang ka-kwenta kwenta

Wish ko na sana may magsabi na sakin na “HOY BRUHA NEED MO NA GAWIN DAPAT MONG GAWIN”

kahit sa panaginip, may magtap lang man ng likod ko

Na kaya ko tapusin lahat ng late school works ko

Pero “ASA”, kahit panaginip ayaw sakin

Ang hirap pag iniiwasan ka

Para akong may sakit na nakakahawa

Pag online ko offline sya

Pag nandyan ako, aalis siya

Hay nako!!!

fav classics… :)

imby

bago ko idelete ng tuluyan…

lagay ko na lang sa blog ko….

sayang yung isa hindi ko malagay dito dahil iba ung file so goodbye na talaga dun

It won’t work

I dont know why all of a sudden, me and him wont quite fit each other.  Thinking about it, I am kind of dissappointed.

I have tried, so many times.

I may blunt words that can hurt him because of my emotions, but it was a mask. 

I was too scared to let go, I cannot just forget all the memories. How can i enjoy and enter a new relationship if i remembers everything about him. Just like Katy Perry’s song “Thinking about you” lol

If love comes within this year, hmm i dont know.

maybe no?

Something NEW!

I am 20 and last night was my first time entering a club, a full blown place. I taught for some moment why am I on that place. But well im broken hearted and it is time for me not to cry and get a hell of fun. It is fun to watch how people get crazy over one drink. LOL. Half of the people inside were tourist because spring break is fast approaching, and everyone wants to have some good time.

lights and smoke. It has been 5 years since my last sniff of 2nd hand smoke. cough. but it was alright.

music. it was crazy. i love every little tiny bit of it.

friends. I saw similar faces, co-workers and mutual friends! it was a blast.

A downside about this is I cannot drink yet. This guy on the front door drew a big X’s on my two hands. YOU CANT DRINK GIRL!

hahaha i love how everybody had a great time. I will sure come back. you bet!

Hell Week

jan 20     I started to act cold toward him. No i love you’s and short replies

jan 25     I dont know what happened but i suddenly said things that would hurt him and we broke up

 Feb 4     for the past week i have realized what really had happened. I pm-ed him to get online so i can talk to him.  I do not have anything to say to him at all. I missed him, and that is enough.

Feb 5     yey i have money! it’s time to call him and say sorry, yet it did not happened. Once i heard his voice, I was blank.  He is mad, of course, but Im still greatfull that he did not have the grudge to hit that deny button

Feb 8     my conversation with him  hanged on this day. reason= no chicha to call . I taught were doing ok for the past few days, I know he knew why I am calling him consecutively.

Feb 14   YM but nothing so important. he told me to sleep- ” for me it felt like he is irritated, and i should get lost”

Feb 16   he is online. WOW. but he is busy. maybe tom.

Feb  17  i did not get a hold of him, i have a class that morning. :-c 

Feb 18   i called him several time this day, and the day before, and the day before. hoping he will take some time to talk to me. answered his phone= nothing happened. I decided to PM him what i felt and what i have planned for. failed! he didn’t received it, so I “copy-paste”. reaction=nothing. I was crying, I am sorry, I told him everything, it felt  like someone pull off a torn in my heart. atleast he now knows.

Feb 19  called him. YM talk. im begging him to be with me. Pride thrown out the window. Face all over the floor. I dont care, I want him back. I taught he is about to say YES, but it ended up being a NO. cryin’, crying cryinggggg. Lastly, 3 voicemails. reaction= nothing. Not the person i knew,  i know!

Feb 20 called him. YM. still a NO. not the answer i want to hear but its a NO. begging him, begging him and begging him. Before when she hears me crying, he would want me to stop. Now even if i cries, and not be able to breathe, it does not matter to him. A stoned person i never knew before. I ask my friends, none of the reasons suits him best. That is why i dont want to let go, I dont undestand, I dont know!!!!  eyes are swollen, wasted body, headaches, 2am. 

No eat. ulcer. until now. A relationship will never be a relationship if there is only one person who wants it. even though how hard i tried, there is still nothing, not even a single sign.  I did not give up, but what can i do?

This morning at work, I received a text message for me to eat. its from him. tears. a co-worker even ask me if im crying. I lied that i yawned. i dont know what i felt. PAIN.

No apetite, i will open my books if i can study and not think of him. Its crazy! Im insane.

He told me he had thrown away his ring, our ring, and ask me to throw away all the stuff he had given me. PAIN. My head is asking me WHY. i dont know!

1 year and 8 months. a good foundation to start. but not anymore! I failed. im sorry!

There is more to say, but i have to end this now. 

If he does not come back, i’ll have to quit~

Kris Allen - To Make You Feel My Love

Kris Allen - To Make You Feel My Love

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

 When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven’t made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I’ve known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I’d go hungry
I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there’s nothing
That I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain’t seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love